Have you met Becky yet?
Don’t you love the book she’s working on for Gracie? I love
it! And I love to see my prints there and especially this one.
This quote broke my heart when I first read it. Mainly because
I wasn’t living it.
Through grade school and high school I spent many many many
hours in the ballet studio. Between ballet class and conditioning classes my
doctor was not ever happy with the fact I was small. And then through
university I worked as a fitness instructor and personal trainer and had my jaw
wired shut every summer. There was a day when I celebrated that I fit into
something bigger than a small or extra small.
Now not so much.
When we started talking about starting our family our doctor
advised me to gain a bit of weight just to make sure if I did get sick I had
enough to lose and still have a healthy pregnancy, so I gained a bit of weight. I
knew that I had to give up my perfect image of my body. I knew that it would never
be the same again when I saw those two lines. Little did I know how much.
I taught pilates and fitness until the day I went on bedrest
– I was supposed to teach that night, but I obviously couldn’t.
So pregnant, not able to workout, let alone take the stairs
much, way too much fluid that made me gain 8lbs in one week (hello stretch
marks), and a body that thought I was 9 months pregnant when I was barely 7
months along.
Gray was 2 days old and I got hit with pitting edema. My
kidneys couldn’t handle all the fluid I was given during my labour, and then
effects of the epidural, and not being able to stand much, let alone walk after
a bit of a crazy delivery where I wasn’t the main concern (which I’m thankful
for don’t get me wrong – I’m so glad they were watching out for Gray). Swollen
ankles doesn’t even start to describe how swollen my legs were. I could barely
bend my knees and I was starting to get stretch marks on my legs from the
amount of fluid. Not a good thing. Our nurse threated that when she came back
the next morning I had better have normal sized ankles or she was going to send
me to the ER to be admitted, and that would mean I wouldn’t get to see Grayson
at all until I was cleared. The treatment for pitting edema – fluids and ice
and elevation. You can take over the counter medication, except a new mom can’t
take it due to possible complications. So I spent a day with my feet up and ice
on my legs, trying as hard as I could not have to be admitted the next day. I
didn’t want to miss a day with my baby.
That night I went back to my room and this song was on
repeat.
Has anyone body told you, you’re beautiful
You might agree if you could see what I see
Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you
beautiful for me.
I was lying there with my feet up and bags of ice on them,
three days after having a baby still looking like I was 7 months pregnant, hadn’t
really showered yet, feeling like I was the last thing anyone would want to
see, but hearing that God smiled the day he made me because I was beautiful to
him. I was beautiful in my pj’s with legs bigger than tree trunks.
When I read this quote a few weeks ago it brought me back to
that night, to this song. The world looks at our outer beauty but God looks at
our heart.
If beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
then I want my
life and what’s inside to give him something to behold.
I want a heart that’s
captivating.
Our beauty is our heart and our life, and God created us in
his image. We are a beautiful reflection of God’s love, so let’s live it, and
start believing it.
I love that this is part of Gracie’s book to remind her that
she is a beautiful reflection.
Thanks so much for sharing Becky!
Thanks so much for sharing Becky!
Now don’t forget to enter the giveaway – 15 sets of prints,
and a journal full of our prints too.
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