I’ve started the post about 100 times in my head and on
paper, but none of the beginnings seem right. It’s hard to jump into this in
the middle so I’ll take you back to a year and two days ago. That’s when
Grayson and I got to take our first ambulance ride and the day that the doctors
were sure would be Gray’s birthday.
the middle so I’ll take you back to a year and two days ago. That’s when
Grayson and I got to take our first ambulance ride and the day that the doctors
were sure would be Gray’s birthday.
Since the moment I had been put on bedrest, we had been
wondering when Gray would arrive. Medicine said he should have a March
birthday, but what was really going to happen?
wondering when Gray would arrive. Medicine said he should have a March
birthday, but what was really going to happen?
On January 8th, I went into labour - hard labour.
I was rushed to the best hospital in Canada for preemie babies, they threw
every doctor at us that we may encounter if Gray were to arrive and they were
sure that he would. They didn’t try and stop my labour. They believed that if
my body was fighting that much there must be a reason so they helped me rest
and hoped that my body would calm down and Gray would stay put.
I was rushed to the best hospital in Canada for preemie babies, they threw
every doctor at us that we may encounter if Gray were to arrive and they were
sure that he would. They didn’t try and stop my labour. They believed that if
my body was fighting that much there must be a reason so they helped me rest
and hoped that my body would calm down and Gray would stay put.
A year ago today, the doctor who admitted us returned from
his day off walked into our room and exclaimed “You’re still pregnant?!?!” in
complete disbelief. Medicine had no idea how I could still be pregnant after
everything that I had been through. I spent close to 48 hours on a morphine
drip with some strong tranquilizers mixed in to see if that would relax my body
enough to keep G where he was. They administered every medication they could to
make sure he was strong and healthy, as strong and healthy as a baby can be at
29 weeks. But in the end they had no idea how I could still be pregnant and how
we weren’t standing in the NICU watching our preemie fight to survive.
his day off walked into our room and exclaimed “You’re still pregnant?!?!” in
complete disbelief. Medicine had no idea how I could still be pregnant after
everything that I had been through. I spent close to 48 hours on a morphine
drip with some strong tranquilizers mixed in to see if that would relax my body
enough to keep G where he was. They administered every medication they could to
make sure he was strong and healthy, as strong and healthy as a baby can be at
29 weeks. But in the end they had no idea how I could still be pregnant and how
we weren’t standing in the NICU watching our preemie fight to survive.
What medicine struggles to understand is that God has
perfect timing. Brian and I have always stood on the belief that God’s perfect
timing will prevail in our lives. We may have plans, but God is the one who has
full control over every aspect of our life.
perfect timing. Brian and I have always stood on the belief that God’s perfect
timing will prevail in our lives. We may have plans, but God is the one who has
full control over every aspect of our life.
From the moment we found out we were pregnant we knew it was
God’s timing and not ours. As we started our journey through bedrest we stood
on that; we knew that however uncertain things were, God brought us this far in
our pregnancy and he would deliver Gray to us at the perfect time.
God’s timing and not ours. As we started our journey through bedrest we stood
on that; we knew that however uncertain things were, God brought us this far in
our pregnancy and he would deliver Gray to us at the perfect time.
For the 48+ hours we spend in the L&D ICU, we knew God
had set angels around us. If it had been Grayson’s time to be born we knew he
would be strong and healthy and whole, but if not then we would make it
through.
had set angels around us. If it had been Grayson’s time to be born we knew he
would be strong and healthy and whole, but if not then we would make it
through.
Grayson held on for another 3 weeks. After a week in the
hospital, they let me go home to bed, strict bedrest, not getting up for
anything but the washroom. When I went into labour for a second time 2 weeks
after getting home, we headed to the hospital again. 48 hours later they
thought they had my labour stopped again, but then my water broke and there was
no going back. God had perfect timing and although we had a few hiccups in the
NICU, Grayson was one of the healthiest babies the doctors and nurses had ever
seen for being born 8 weeks early.
hospital, they let me go home to bed, strict bedrest, not getting up for
anything but the washroom. When I went into labour for a second time 2 weeks
after getting home, we headed to the hospital again. 48 hours later they
thought they had my labour stopped again, but then my water broke and there was
no going back. God had perfect timing and although we had a few hiccups in the
NICU, Grayson was one of the healthiest babies the doctors and nurses had ever
seen for being born 8 weeks early.
There were days on our journey that I wondered; that I let
the darkness get to me. But in those 48 hours I let it all go, and just put my
trust in the Great Physician.
the darkness get to me. But in those 48 hours I let it all go, and just put my
trust in the Great Physician.
I challenge you to think today; are you trusting in God’s
perfect timing, or are you trying to dictate your own? If it’s the latter, I
hope that you’ll seek him and let go of the human desire for control. He will
bring you all that you need and more in his perfect timing.
perfect timing, or are you trying to dictate your own? If it’s the latter, I
hope that you’ll seek him and let go of the human desire for control. He will
bring you all that you need and more in his perfect timing.
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| Grayson the day he arrived. |
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