Our First Family Day

Good Afternoon!

We’re celebrating our first Family day as 3 instead of just two. We’re also celebrating being one step closer to taking Grayson home. 

The doctor has decided to stop the caffeine that Gray was on today, and see how he does without it. We’ve been waiting for this day, and we can start the countdown to possibly bringing Grayson home. Gray has to be off the caffeine and not have any breathing episodes for 7 days before we can start thinking of going home. So now we wait and see how he is. 

He has been doing a lot better feeding. He is up to the full amount that the doctors need him to be eating every 3 hours, and hasn’t had an issue with intolerance since he was taking off his feeds last week. We’ve also been given the go ahead to start teaching him how to nurse again. It’s going slowly but we’re sure that he’ll get there soon.

We are hopeful that we’ll be home for the first Sunday in March. That we’ll be celebrating his first Sunday at church and celebrating Koinonia’s 27^th anniversary on the same day.

Thank you for your continued prayer and support. The last 15 weeks have been a journey and we’re excited for what the next weeks and years will bring.

Blessings,

Jacqueline and Brian

And Grayson too.

 

One Week Old

So yesterday Grayson was a week old! It’s hard to believe – the time seems to have flown by. 

He has been doing really well. He had a few off days this week. On Thursday he forgot to breathe for a bit, and kept having episodes, so the Paediatrician on call that night decided to put him on a ventilator for a bit to see if we could get things under control. They did a full work up of blood work and a lumbar puncture, to see if they could find out what was going on.  They also started him on some antibiotics. By Friday morning he was doing much better. They had administered some caffeine as they thought the culprit might be Apnea of prematurity. 

Just like Apnea in adults, you stop breathing for a bit, however the reason for this is that Gray’s brain hasn’t fully developed, so he forgets to breathe – literally. The caffeine keeps his mind alert and reminds him to breathe. Since Friday he hasn’t had an episode and has been doing really well.

Gray had quite a bit of jaundice, but the photo-therapy has been doing it’s job. He is still under the lights for a bit – his levels went up a bit today, but that’s not unexpected at all. Most preemies have jaundice because they’re body just isn’t ready to handle everything at once. 

Gray was feeding really well, but after his episode the doctors decided to back off the feeds and keep the IV nutrients going. Because of this I have a bit more freedom to leave the hospital. 

The staff here in Brampton have been amazing. They communicate really well with us, and making sure that we know everything they’re doing. The Paediatrician Dr Gupta is fantastic – he’s keeping a really good eye on things. He’s making sure that they’re not giving him too much medication. 

I am doing great after a pretty stressful delivery. I’m almost back to the usual me. Brian has gotten a hotel room about 15 minutes away, so I have been staying there the last few nights getting some good sleep. Once he’s feeding 100% on milk and up to nursing full time, I’ll be at the hospital nursing every 3 to 4 hours. So I’m taking this opportunity to get out and get some good sleep.

 

As Brian has said it feels a bit surreal since we’re not his primary caregivers right now. We get to leave, and we’re not having to get up at 3am with a screaming baby. Once we’re home it will sink it a lot more. 

We’re unsure how long we’ll be in Brampton, or if the blips he’s had this week mean that we’re not able to be transferred to GrandRiver. Hopefully in the next few days the doctors will be able to readjust the plan. 

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. Feel free to email us anytime. We’re here. 

Blessings - love you lots, 

Jacqueline, Brian and Grayson.

Caffeine

You would not believe the number of time my family doctor reminded me that caffeine was not allowed during my pregnancy. Not one cup a day, not just an ounce; None!. I was pretty good at following his rules and read up on the studies he was talking about. And I do understand why he said it. 

Now that we’re on the other side of things I understand that caffeine can affect G to now that he’s getting 100% mommy juice. Can you say exhausted Jac!

But now I’m throwing caution to the wind and having my daily coffee. After all G is getting straight caffeine put into his IV once a day. The same amount if not more than what is in a large Tim Horton’s coffee. They’re giving my 5 day old preemie caffeine. I think the amount he gets from my milks is negligible now, considering the small amount that actually passes through. 

Who would have thought giving baby caffeine would be humane. Oh well, coffee here I come. 

 

32 weeks and 3 days

babE Grayson decided that his end goal was 32 weeks. So after a few long days, Grayson David Richard Ernst joined our family at 3:45am on Sunday January 30^th weighing 5lbs 10oz, and 19.5 inches long. 

Friday morning I started contracting again, and called Dr. Newell – she sent us to go and get checked out – she wasn’t too worried as the contractions were still more than 25 minutes apart, so we waited until Brian got home from work and headed to Guelph. Well by the time we got there they were about 7 minutes apart. The OB on call checked us out, and started the search for a hospital that would be able to handle both Grayson and I if the preterm labour didn’t stop. Grand River’s L&D was full, as were most of the hospitals in the area. So after 2 hours, and the OB on call calling in a favour with another OB here in Brampton, we were transported to Brampton Civic by ambulance, lights and sirens going most of the way. 

We spent early Saturday morning in the L&D triage waiting for the contractions to stop or do something. This L&D was not as comfortable as others, but at about 9 am we were able to go to the ward and be observed as it looked like everything had calmed down. Just like in Hamilton we thought we would be there for a bit, or maybe a while, but hoping to that we would get a few more weeks. Things were going really well, until 2:15pm when my water broke. Total shock, since I hadn’t had a contraction in about 5 hours. So by 4pm we were in L&D hooked up to monitors and iv’s and talking about oxytocin.  

I wont to into all the details, if you want them read the blog in a few days or a week when I have time to put it all in a nice eloquent tale. But after a few hours of hard labour, an epidural, and a lot of discomfort, Grayson arrived to a room full of doctors and nurses ready to take care of him. 

He cried a beautiful cry letting me know he was okay, and after they cleaned him up a bit and weighed him and got his measurements done, I even got to hold him for a minute before they took him to the NICU. A lot more than Brian and I had expected. We thought we would be looking at our son for the first time as he was wheeled out of the room to the NICU. 

He’s just over 84 hours old now, and doing really well. He’s been off supplemental oxygen for almost 80 hours. He’s learning how to nurse, and taking a bottle really well. We have to wait to see what his blood work comes back with, but right now he’s doing pretty darn great. 

 

We’re able to hold him, and feed him and snuggle him. And all I can say is thank goodness he’s big, and healthy, and thank you for all your prayer.

We’re starting a new journey now; one of making sure we’re doing what’s best and getting him big and strong. The doctors and nurses here are great, and very good at explaining everything that they are doing and what their hopes are for Gray based on how old he is and how he’s doing. It is a bit deceptive when you look at him because he looks like a tiny full term baby, but he is only 32 weeks gestation. So we are being careful not to stress him too much or ask too much of him. 

Thank you for all of your prayers and support over the last 11 weeks of bedrest. Now we start the weeks of growing Grayson into the strong boy God created him to be. 

I’m so thankful for my faith and all of you who support us. We knew he would be born healthy and whole, we just didn’t know the timing, Well God has perfect timing, and he kept his promise, and delivered us a healthy baby boy. 

We love you all, and can’t wait to see you holding our son.

Blessings, 

Jacqueline and Brian

And Grayson too.

 

Just the Beginning

I feel like I’m often apologizing for not posting as often as I feel I should be. Not sure why I feel I should post more – it’s my blog, so I’m in charge. Oh well. 

We have had a very adventurous 6 days. The very best part being that Grayson arrived in the middle of all of it. 

Grayson David Richard joined our family at 3.45am on January 30^th, 2011. He weighed 5lbs, 10oz, and is 19.5 inches long. 

He is more than I could have hoped or dreamed for. He had the perfect first cry, and big eyes looking at me when I held him for the first time. 

I will post our whole adventure soon; as soon as I can get through it without crying at every turn. It’s a bit hard to be eloquent when you’re balling your eyes out and can’t see the screen anymore. 

A friend of my mother in law sent this little message to Grayson when she heard of his arrival. 

May he touch fireflies and stars, dance with puppies and talk to the man in the moon. May he grow up joyful, surrounded in love and gracious hearts.  Welcome to the world, Grayson.  It's been waiting for you! 

 

Not sure I have anything to add to that, again trying to see through the tears. 

I can’t wait to introduce you all to Grayson over the next weeks and months, and years. Keep reading, this is just the beginning of our adventure with our babEblessing.

babE Grayson: 32 Weeks

Well we made it! After our time at McMaster our goal was to make it to 32 weeks. Now Gray has an immune system and has a lot better chance in the outside world. 

We saw Dr Newell in Guelph last week, and she shared the goal of 34 weeks that the Dr’s in Hamilton did. If we can make it 2 more weeks Gray can be born in Guelph instead of Hamilton, and will just have a bit of growing and maturing to do in the outside world. 

It seems like so long ago that we were just praying to get to 24 weeks, and we’ve flown past that. We’ve spent almost 11 weeks in bed, and although it hasn’t been easy, I’m not pulling out my hair just yet. I had some visitors in the last week and some phone calls to lift my spirits. 

So now we just wait – we’ve done everything we can to get to this point, so we just keep doing what we’ve been doing. Any sign of anything happening sends me back to bed flat on my back – which isn’t my favourite thing but I’d rather be doing it at home than in the hospital. 

Hopefully we’re not sending out birth announcements in the next few weeks, but if that’s what happens, we know that Gray is okay, and will be okay. 

We’ll have to wait and see what the next few weeks bring. 

Have a blessed day, 

Thank you for all your prayers – we’re praying for all of you constantly. 

Jacqueline and Brian,
And babE Grayson too

babE Grayson: A Long Week

A week ago we woke up in the L&D ICU, wondering if our son would have a January birthday rather than a March one. 

This week we woke up at home in our own room in our own bed, and very thankful that our son hasn’t arrived. 

After a week in the hospital, they let us come home. We were a little surprised that they let us come home after we had a rough night on Thursday, but here we are. 

Saturday morning I had a great conversation with Dr Brennan. I got to ask all my questions, and get some answers as to what we need to look out for, and what the next 6 to 10 weeks look like for us. And a hopeful smile that we wouldn’t see her again. 

Hopefully we get to stay home for the next few weeks. Bed rest is a bit stricter now, I can still get up a bit now and then, but no driving myself anywhere, and spending 99% of my time in bed. Thanks goodness I have lots of knitting to do while I’m here. 

I have a lot more time on my hands, and lots of time to visit, so if you’re in town give us a call. We’ll be here.   

Thank you so much for your prayers and support this last week, we appreciate it so much. The stress of the last week melts away when we know we have such a great support system. We feel so blessed to know that we have all of you praying for Grayson. 

43 Days until March 1^st, and Grayson can arrive safely. We’ve made it past 30 weeks now, and we’re believing for another 6 at least. 

Blessings, and lots of love, 

Jacqueline and Brian, and babE Gray too.

72 Hours

The last 72 hours have been a bit of a whirlwind. 

Saturday was a great day, at least that’s how it started. I can’t even tell you what we did other than the fact that we had a great nap together in the afternoon. Around 4pm I started feeling some cramps, so I asked B to heat up my snuggle to see if that would help alleviate the pain. Well the heat took the pain from a 4 to a 3, but not a really big change. But then a bit before 6 I started having contractions, about 15 minutes apart but they were about a 5 on the pain scale. Now I’ve had a few in the past few weeks, so I thought I would just ride it out. Well after a few hours, and an increase in the frequency of the contractions we headed to the local ER to get checked out. 

So we got to the ER, and got all set up in a bed in L&D triage, and got hooked up to the monitor. Great thing was G’s a strong guy and he did well through all of this. Even now. I on the other hand was contracting every 3 to 5 minutes by now, and the pain was a solid 5 the whole time. I just have to remember to breathe through everything. So they took some blood, and checked me out. At our appointment on Friday my cervix was 2.4cm. Not bad for me and how things have been going. Well when they checked me out on Saturday, I was down to maybe 1cm. Well there were definitely some changes going on. So the call was made to Hamilton and we were going to be transferred. They started an IV and hung some antibiotics, and got us ready to transport. 

We got to take a nice ride in an ambulance for about an hour, no lights or sirens which made me feel a bit better. I knew that I was in preterm labour – if I wasn’t they wouldn’t have sent me to Hamilton. I can’t say that I wasn’t scared, but I knew that as soon as we got to Hamilton we would be okay. So we were where we needed to be. 

We got to Hamilton, and got checked in around 2am on Sunday morning, and got hooked up to more machines. The nurse came in and talked us through some things, got us all set up, and the resident on staff came in to see what’s going on. She prescribed some pain medication so that I could possibly sleep and hoping that the sleep would stop the contractions. So around 5am I got a dose of morphine and some gravol, along with more fluids and antibiotics. Thankfully I slept for a few hours, but woke up with contractions still. So we went into conservation mode. They did more blood work and more tests, and more poking and prodding. More pain meds were administered just to keep me comfortable. The contractions had been regular for over 12 hours and weren’t letting up at all. They put me on a liquid diet in case things progressed worse and we ended up in the OR. Then came more pain meds around noon. These ones were paired with a strong tranquilizer to knock me out and help me sleep more. They did send in more doctors, the anestigeologist, and a neonatologist to just go over their roles if things progressed. The ultrasound tech also came in to get a more current picture of what was going on. I was barely lucid during all of this, so it’s a good thing that B was there to take in all the information. 

It’s a bit hard to write about Sunday since I wasn’t lucid for most of the day and when I was I was in quite a bit of pain. B was great – getting me ice when I needed it, and water, and helping me to the washroom when I needed. Sunday evening was the hardest part. The contractions were the same in frequency – but they were a lot more intense. A minimum of a 6 on the pain scale – so comfort was not in the cards. Another dose of pain meds and a drug induced nap. This continued through most of the night. 

But light came in the morning; the contractions hadn’t changed in frequency but were staying around a 4, and they let me eat breakfast. The rest of Monday was about the same, although by the time evening came around I was an emotional and physical wreck and had a bit of a breakdown. After over two days of pain and ups and downs I reached my end. The contractions had started to get stronger again, so B talked to one of the nurses and I was given another round of morphine and tranquilizers. 

Now all day Monday they were flip flopping back and forth on whether they were going to send me to the ward or not, but every time there seemed to be an okay patch, it was followed by a rough patch. By Tuesday morning however we were doing a lot better. I had a solid night’s sleep, just a bit of cramping in the morning, and we were sent over to the ward just before lunch. 

So here we are on Tuesday evening sitting in the ward not knowing what the next few days or weeks are going to look like. We could be here just for a few days, or here until Grayson appears in March. Or earlier if he decides that he can’t wait that long to make his grand entrance. 

72 hours ago we started a bit of a new adventure, but we’re still here. Gray’s still cooking, and we’re just happy that we aren’t in the NICU.

I miss my aesthetician

I’m starting to get rather large. The fact that Gray is almost double the size they would expect him to be doesn’t help that. I’ve gotten used to most of life like this. I have gotten used to having to hoist myself out of bed and taking extra time to get anywhere. 

The one thing that I can’t seem to do on my own, or easily is shave my legs. Seriously it’s the most awkward thing ever. For someone who prides myself on being graceful and putting all those years of ballet to use, there is no way for me to be graceful doing this. 

Before the belly and pregnancy I had my monthly appointment to see A my aesthetician. But since G started growing, waxing hurts more than the first time, which was years ago. So I sacrificed and decided that I can deal with shaving for a few months or a year. But now I really really miss A and her talents for making me hair free. 

I think last night may be the last time I shave until I can actually see my feet again. If B doesn’t like it, he can shave for me. Oh well 56 more days until Mr. Gman can arrive.