babE Grayson: 32 Weeks

Well we made it! After our time at McMaster our goal was to make it to 32 weeks. Now Gray has an immune system and has a lot better chance in the outside world. 

We saw Dr Newell in Guelph last week, and she shared the goal of 34 weeks that the Dr’s in Hamilton did. If we can make it 2 more weeks Gray can be born in Guelph instead of Hamilton, and will just have a bit of growing and maturing to do in the outside world. 

It seems like so long ago that we were just praying to get to 24 weeks, and we’ve flown past that. We’ve spent almost 11 weeks in bed, and although it hasn’t been easy, I’m not pulling out my hair just yet. I had some visitors in the last week and some phone calls to lift my spirits. 

So now we just wait – we’ve done everything we can to get to this point, so we just keep doing what we’ve been doing. Any sign of anything happening sends me back to bed flat on my back – which isn’t my favourite thing but I’d rather be doing it at home than in the hospital. 

Hopefully we’re not sending out birth announcements in the next few weeks, but if that’s what happens, we know that Gray is okay, and will be okay. 

We’ll have to wait and see what the next few weeks bring. 

Have a blessed day, 

Thank you for all your prayers – we’re praying for all of you constantly. 

Jacqueline and Brian,
And babE Grayson too

babE Grayson: A Long Week

A week ago we woke up in the L&D ICU, wondering if our son would have a January birthday rather than a March one. 

This week we woke up at home in our own room in our own bed, and very thankful that our son hasn’t arrived. 

After a week in the hospital, they let us come home. We were a little surprised that they let us come home after we had a rough night on Thursday, but here we are. 

Saturday morning I had a great conversation with Dr Brennan. I got to ask all my questions, and get some answers as to what we need to look out for, and what the next 6 to 10 weeks look like for us. And a hopeful smile that we wouldn’t see her again. 

Hopefully we get to stay home for the next few weeks. Bed rest is a bit stricter now, I can still get up a bit now and then, but no driving myself anywhere, and spending 99% of my time in bed. Thanks goodness I have lots of knitting to do while I’m here. 

I have a lot more time on my hands, and lots of time to visit, so if you’re in town give us a call. We’ll be here.   

Thank you so much for your prayers and support this last week, we appreciate it so much. The stress of the last week melts away when we know we have such a great support system. We feel so blessed to know that we have all of you praying for Grayson. 

43 Days until March 1^st, and Grayson can arrive safely. We’ve made it past 30 weeks now, and we’re believing for another 6 at least. 

Blessings, and lots of love, 

Jacqueline and Brian, and babE Gray too.

72 Hours

The last 72 hours have been a bit of a whirlwind. 

Saturday was a great day, at least that’s how it started. I can’t even tell you what we did other than the fact that we had a great nap together in the afternoon. Around 4pm I started feeling some cramps, so I asked B to heat up my snuggle to see if that would help alleviate the pain. Well the heat took the pain from a 4 to a 3, but not a really big change. But then a bit before 6 I started having contractions, about 15 minutes apart but they were about a 5 on the pain scale. Now I’ve had a few in the past few weeks, so I thought I would just ride it out. Well after a few hours, and an increase in the frequency of the contractions we headed to the local ER to get checked out. 

So we got to the ER, and got all set up in a bed in L&D triage, and got hooked up to the monitor. Great thing was G’s a strong guy and he did well through all of this. Even now. I on the other hand was contracting every 3 to 5 minutes by now, and the pain was a solid 5 the whole time. I just have to remember to breathe through everything. So they took some blood, and checked me out. At our appointment on Friday my cervix was 2.4cm. Not bad for me and how things have been going. Well when they checked me out on Saturday, I was down to maybe 1cm. Well there were definitely some changes going on. So the call was made to Hamilton and we were going to be transferred. They started an IV and hung some antibiotics, and got us ready to transport. 

We got to take a nice ride in an ambulance for about an hour, no lights or sirens which made me feel a bit better. I knew that I was in preterm labour – if I wasn’t they wouldn’t have sent me to Hamilton. I can’t say that I wasn’t scared, but I knew that as soon as we got to Hamilton we would be okay. So we were where we needed to be. 

We got to Hamilton, and got checked in around 2am on Sunday morning, and got hooked up to more machines. The nurse came in and talked us through some things, got us all set up, and the resident on staff came in to see what’s going on. She prescribed some pain medication so that I could possibly sleep and hoping that the sleep would stop the contractions. So around 5am I got a dose of morphine and some gravol, along with more fluids and antibiotics. Thankfully I slept for a few hours, but woke up with contractions still. So we went into conservation mode. They did more blood work and more tests, and more poking and prodding. More pain meds were administered just to keep me comfortable. The contractions had been regular for over 12 hours and weren’t letting up at all. They put me on a liquid diet in case things progressed worse and we ended up in the OR. Then came more pain meds around noon. These ones were paired with a strong tranquilizer to knock me out and help me sleep more. They did send in more doctors, the anestigeologist, and a neonatologist to just go over their roles if things progressed. The ultrasound tech also came in to get a more current picture of what was going on. I was barely lucid during all of this, so it’s a good thing that B was there to take in all the information. 

It’s a bit hard to write about Sunday since I wasn’t lucid for most of the day and when I was I was in quite a bit of pain. B was great – getting me ice when I needed it, and water, and helping me to the washroom when I needed. Sunday evening was the hardest part. The contractions were the same in frequency – but they were a lot more intense. A minimum of a 6 on the pain scale – so comfort was not in the cards. Another dose of pain meds and a drug induced nap. This continued through most of the night. 

But light came in the morning; the contractions hadn’t changed in frequency but were staying around a 4, and they let me eat breakfast. The rest of Monday was about the same, although by the time evening came around I was an emotional and physical wreck and had a bit of a breakdown. After over two days of pain and ups and downs I reached my end. The contractions had started to get stronger again, so B talked to one of the nurses and I was given another round of morphine and tranquilizers. 

Now all day Monday they were flip flopping back and forth on whether they were going to send me to the ward or not, but every time there seemed to be an okay patch, it was followed by a rough patch. By Tuesday morning however we were doing a lot better. I had a solid night’s sleep, just a bit of cramping in the morning, and we were sent over to the ward just before lunch. 

So here we are on Tuesday evening sitting in the ward not knowing what the next few days or weeks are going to look like. We could be here just for a few days, or here until Grayson appears in March. Or earlier if he decides that he can’t wait that long to make his grand entrance. 

72 hours ago we started a bit of a new adventure, but we’re still here. Gray’s still cooking, and we’re just happy that we aren’t in the NICU.

I miss my aesthetician

I’m starting to get rather large. The fact that Gray is almost double the size they would expect him to be doesn’t help that. I’ve gotten used to most of life like this. I have gotten used to having to hoist myself out of bed and taking extra time to get anywhere. 

The one thing that I can’t seem to do on my own, or easily is shave my legs. Seriously it’s the most awkward thing ever. For someone who prides myself on being graceful and putting all those years of ballet to use, there is no way for me to be graceful doing this. 

Before the belly and pregnancy I had my monthly appointment to see A my aesthetician. But since G started growing, waxing hurts more than the first time, which was years ago. So I sacrificed and decided that I can deal with shaving for a few months or a year. But now I really really miss A and her talents for making me hair free. 

I think last night may be the last time I shave until I can actually see my feet again. If B doesn’t like it, he can shave for me. Oh well 56 more days until Mr. Gman can arrive.

Maternity Pictures

 

Before Christmas we ventured out for an hour to visit our friend Matt – an amazing photographer who seems to be capturing all our life moments. Matt is a friend of B’s from university, and we couldn’t have thought of a more amazing photographer to capture our wedding and engagement a few years ago, and now all the moments of our journey to becoming parents. 

When we decided that we were going to start down this road we knew that we needed to make our announcement special – it’s a bit hard to call everyone when you’re list is about 40 phone calls. Instead we decided that sending out cards with a picture of us would be a bit more personal and so we called Matt. He took this great picture of us for to use.

So we decided that we needed to take some pictures of the belly before Gray decides to make is appearance. We didn’t want to miss the opportunity to capture the moments.

Well we got our pictures today and I am in love with them. I have seen the proofs online but we were able to download them. 

This has to be one of my favourite pictures from our time with Matt. 

If you’re in Ontario and love Matt, check out his site – he has great prices and goes above and beyond. Symplicity.ca. You will not be disappointed.

babE Grayson: 28 weeks

Good Morning and Happy New Year. 

Well this year is the year – It’s finally 2011, and Grays birthday has a 2011 in it!

Sorry that this update is a little late – Brian and I shut down last week for a bit and spent some quality time together – the last bit we’ll get before Grayson arrives. 

We have made it to 28 weeks, well 28 weeks and 4 days today to be exact. I’m so thankful to have gotten to this point. 7 weeks ago we were unsure if we would make it to 24 weeks, and we seem to have flown by that. 

We saw Dr. Newell last week – and finally had an appointment where we came out feeling great and a lot less worried. My fluid level has come back down, so much so that I have lost a pound in the two weeks between appointments. My cervix is still thin, and has gotten a little thinner, but we’re still in an okay range. With all the Christmas events, we weren’t surprised that it was down a bit. 

We have an appointment in Hamilton with the Prenatal Diagnosis Center. On our ultrasound at 26 weeks there were some abnormalities: they found some soft markers in Grayson’s bowels and kidneys. Soft markers can indicate one of a hundred different things. There are soft markers and hard markers when they do ultrasounds, hard markers like bone density and facial proportions can indicate Down Syndrome or something very specific, whereas soft makers don’t have a specific diagnosis or one thing that they point to. In Gray’s case, both the markers in his kidneys and bowels could mean that he swallowed some blood that may have been present in the amniotic fluid that that is why there were bright spots on the ultrasound. With the other issues that we have had Hamilton just wants to make sure that everything is okay, and take a closer look. Hopefully with some answers from Hamilton we’ll be able to start planning Grayson’s arrival whether it’s in Hamilton or if we’ll be able to go with the original plan and deliver in Guelph. 

There are 56 days until March 1^st. 56 days until the Doctors are happy with him arriving, and to be honest me too. The last 7 weeks have been hard on me, but I look forward to the next 8 and the end result is worth every moment. 

Thank you for all your prayers. We appreciate them. Your support means so much to Brian and I. I have found a group of bedrest mom’s online – and everyday I’m so thankful to have such a great support system. Not every bedrest mom is blessed with such an amazing group of family and friend.

I can’t wait to introduce all of you to Grayson in a few months. I know that we’re all anticipating his arrival. 

Blessings, 

Jacqueline, Brian and babE Grayson.

Hope

This year has been a hard year for us with holidays. We haven’t been able to do as much as we normally would. It’s been nice to not be running around here there and everywhere, but the build-up of the season hasn’t been there. I’ve found myself just wanting to get through this – not so much enjoy it but just make it through the craziness and get back to peaceful days and less crazy days. To just be rested and less stressed, especially since that’s what babE G needs from me most.

This afternoon I traded in going to see a movie to be able to go to church for our Christmas Eve Service. It’s something I just needed today. I needed hugs from friends, and knowing that they’re still there. And I needed to just be at church again, in that building signing and refocusing.

Each year we have a theme for the evening, it’s not a usual service with a sermon, it’s a celebration of what the season, and what Christmas Day really is about. It’s about resetting our hearts and focusing on the real reason we celebrate. This year K outdid herself in planning and executing the theme of ‘Hope’. Funny how God talks to you through other people and knows exactly what you need to hear to bring focus back.

A very talented young woman sang a song that brought me to tears – it hit home this year, and that made me sad to realize that this song was saying the things that I couldn’t. I have lost some of my hope. In grieving the loss of an easy pregnancy, the pregnancy that we thought we would have I let go of some of my hope. The last weeks have been hard with new complications and the possibility that it’s not just my issues, but that babE G may have some issues of his own. The fact that it might be something more than just my issue. Just another hurdle in this journey.


Hope is a candle, and even though the flame may flicker, the flame goes through a lot and still burns on. The last 5 weeks have been a test on the flame of our hope. And I’m really sad to say that I let it flicker a lot, but I’m going to stop that now. I’m taking back my hope, and protecting it.

We were given the gift of hope on Christmas. Jesus came to the earth as our hope. Hope for his nation of Israel, hope for his disciples, and hope for all mankind.  The world woke to a new life on Christmas morning, not just that Jesus had been born, but that we could be reborn in his love, his hope, and live in his hope.

Tonight I’m sending my prayers and thoughts out to all the bedrest moms that I’ve met that have let their hope go. I wish I could have taken all of you with me tonight. I know some of you are in hospital this Christmas, and not able to be with your families. I know how much your heart hurts, and how much you just want this time to pass quickly. I hope that this song may bring some hope back into your life. And know that I’m here praying for you and your little ones, and I’ll be hoping for you when you can’t. We’ll do this together.

babE Grayson: 26 Weeks

Today is 26 weeks! 2 weeks past the first big marker they wanted us to get to, so that’s great.

We had an ultrasound earlier this week. Gray is growing big and strong. 

We saw Dr Newell again today, and we’re doing really well on bedrest. Our numbers are back in the normal range, and we’re still doing all the right things. In a month I’ll hopefully have more freedom still. Once we hit 30 weeks we’ll be able to do more and be on my feet a bit more, but still no working.

There were some other abnormalities on the ultrasound from Tuesday. I seem to have a lot of amniotic fluid – at the very top of normal. So we’re waiting on some more information from McMaster again. We’ll have to see how they want to proceed. 

The 100 day countdown started this week! 97 days until our due date, 69 days until 36 weeks. We’re praying and believing that we make it until 36 weeks. 

We’ll keep you updated on what McMaster says, and what our next course of action is going to be.

Thank you for blessing us with your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate them more than we can express. 

Lots of love, and hugs! 

Jacqueline and Brain, and babE Grayson too

I swear I can hear them

I can hear the stretch marks growing right now. No matter what I do I can’t stop from getting them! Oh well, I’ll do it for him. I just hope that there’s some way we can get rid of them in the future. 

Last week I decided to clean off old laptop files, and our external hard drive. I have duplicates of photos and other files. I happened upon our honeymoon pictures while I was looking around. I am so amazed at how my body has changed in 2 years!

Here’s the two of us on the last full day of our honeymoon. Goodness I was in good shape then. Even with being out of the gym for 6 week before the wedding due to my torn rotator cuff. 

Here’s me last week.

I love my bump, and I’m willing to allow my body to change because I know it’s not for me, and I will get it back. But goodness, I miss my 6 pack! 

I think the thing that is hardest for me is that I can’t be physically active right now. I was planning on teaching until I was 7 or 8 months pregnant and being able to do cardio at least and keep my body as fit as I could. Make it a bit easier to get my body back once Gray arrives. 

14 weeks tomorrow until I get to hold my son. I see the end goal, and I will do this. I just have to remind myself everyday of who I’m doing this for. 

I love you Grayson – more than I thought I ever could. And I will do anything and everything I can to hold you in my arms in March. 

Blessings, 

Jac