Hope

This year has been a hard year for us with holidays. We haven’t been able to do as much as we normally would. It’s been nice to not be running around here there and everywhere, but the build-up of the season hasn’t been there. I’ve found myself just wanting to get through this – not so much enjoy it but just make it through the craziness and get back to peaceful days and less crazy days. To just be rested and less stressed, especially since that’s what babE G needs from me most.

This afternoon I traded in going to see a movie to be able to go to church for our Christmas Eve Service. It’s something I just needed today. I needed hugs from friends, and knowing that they’re still there. And I needed to just be at church again, in that building signing and refocusing.

Each year we have a theme for the evening, it’s not a usual service with a sermon, it’s a celebration of what the season, and what Christmas Day really is about. It’s about resetting our hearts and focusing on the real reason we celebrate. This year K outdid herself in planning and executing the theme of ‘Hope’. Funny how God talks to you through other people and knows exactly what you need to hear to bring focus back.

A very talented young woman sang a song that brought me to tears – it hit home this year, and that made me sad to realize that this song was saying the things that I couldn’t. I have lost some of my hope. In grieving the loss of an easy pregnancy, the pregnancy that we thought we would have I let go of some of my hope. The last weeks have been hard with new complications and the possibility that it’s not just my issues, but that babE G may have some issues of his own. The fact that it might be something more than just my issue. Just another hurdle in this journey.


Hope is a candle, and even though the flame may flicker, the flame goes through a lot and still burns on. The last 5 weeks have been a test on the flame of our hope. And I’m really sad to say that I let it flicker a lot, but I’m going to stop that now. I’m taking back my hope, and protecting it.

We were given the gift of hope on Christmas. Jesus came to the earth as our hope. Hope for his nation of Israel, hope for his disciples, and hope for all mankind.  The world woke to a new life on Christmas morning, not just that Jesus had been born, but that we could be reborn in his love, his hope, and live in his hope.

Tonight I’m sending my prayers and thoughts out to all the bedrest moms that I’ve met that have let their hope go. I wish I could have taken all of you with me tonight. I know some of you are in hospital this Christmas, and not able to be with your families. I know how much your heart hurts, and how much you just want this time to pass quickly. I hope that this song may bring some hope back into your life. And know that I’m here praying for you and your little ones, and I’ll be hoping for you when you can’t. We’ll do this together.

babE Grayson: 26 Weeks

Today is 26 weeks! 2 weeks past the first big marker they wanted us to get to, so that’s great.

We had an ultrasound earlier this week. Gray is growing big and strong. 

We saw Dr Newell again today, and we’re doing really well on bedrest. Our numbers are back in the normal range, and we’re still doing all the right things. In a month I’ll hopefully have more freedom still. Once we hit 30 weeks we’ll be able to do more and be on my feet a bit more, but still no working.

There were some other abnormalities on the ultrasound from Tuesday. I seem to have a lot of amniotic fluid – at the very top of normal. So we’re waiting on some more information from McMaster again. We’ll have to see how they want to proceed. 

The 100 day countdown started this week! 97 days until our due date, 69 days until 36 weeks. We’re praying and believing that we make it until 36 weeks. 

We’ll keep you updated on what McMaster says, and what our next course of action is going to be.

Thank you for blessing us with your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate them more than we can express. 

Lots of love, and hugs! 

Jacqueline and Brain, and babE Grayson too

I swear I can hear them

I can hear the stretch marks growing right now. No matter what I do I can’t stop from getting them! Oh well, I’ll do it for him. I just hope that there’s some way we can get rid of them in the future. 

Last week I decided to clean off old laptop files, and our external hard drive. I have duplicates of photos and other files. I happened upon our honeymoon pictures while I was looking around. I am so amazed at how my body has changed in 2 years!

Here’s the two of us on the last full day of our honeymoon. Goodness I was in good shape then. Even with being out of the gym for 6 week before the wedding due to my torn rotator cuff. 

Here’s me last week.

I love my bump, and I’m willing to allow my body to change because I know it’s not for me, and I will get it back. But goodness, I miss my 6 pack! 

I think the thing that is hardest for me is that I can’t be physically active right now. I was planning on teaching until I was 7 or 8 months pregnant and being able to do cardio at least and keep my body as fit as I could. Make it a bit easier to get my body back once Gray arrives. 

14 weeks tomorrow until I get to hold my son. I see the end goal, and I will do this. I just have to remind myself everyday of who I’m doing this for. 

I love you Grayson – more than I thought I ever could. And I will do anything and everything I can to hold you in my arms in March. 

Blessings, 

Jac

My jumping Jellybean

I love feeling this little bean jumping away. At our first ultrasound back in September we saw him doing jump squats long before I could feel him moving. Well now there are some moments when I wish I could communicate with him that it’s okay if he’s quiet for a bit. Especially at 3 or 4 am!! This past week I was awake at least 3 mornings earlier then I would prefer to be, like hours before. On Friday morning B and I even decided to get out of bed at 5, since he was not going to settle down, and we might as well just start our days. That is one of the few days that I was very happy to be on bed rest and be able to sleep. Thank goodness I was able to go back to bed for a few more hours. The same could not be said for B.
I’m getting used to seeing 4 am on my clock, well squinting to see it since I can’t read it all that well without my glasses, but still. I’m not looking forward to the day when I have to get up to pee at 4 am every night, but thanks to a lot of practise and years of a very particular ballet master, I seem to have avoided that for now. Who knows how long though?

My jumping bean has been moving around like crazy these days. At the beginning of this week his head was on my left side, and feet up in my ribs on the right side, on a bit of a downward angle. Now he’s all at the bottom squished up, his bum on my left side. One morning when he woke me up he was uncomfortably up and down, and completely squished! Thank goodness he moved and found a better position.
B loves feeling him kick and punch, and he’s even starting to be able to differentiate between the two. He says that it makes it more real to him. I can totally understand and appreciate that. I get a little freaked out when I don’t feel him move every once in a while, I just want to make sure that he’s okay. I just wish it wasn’t at 4am every morning.

My dad tells me that when I was about 6 weeks old I got my days and nights mixed up. I was a great sleeper, I slept through the night pretty much right away, but I seemed to get it mixed up a bit. So in order to fix this, he sent my mom to bed and kept me up for a whole day, and put me to sleep when I was supposed to sleep. If only I could do that with my little G man, but I can’t. At least not at this moment.
I’m glad my jumping bean is so active; it’s his way of letting me know that he’s okay.
We get to see him again this week coming up, and then we’re off to the OB’s for another check-up, and then off to the hospital for steroid injections. As anxious as I am about getting the steroids and how I will react to them, I’m very glad and thankful that we have the medical technology and advancements to make sure that my little one will be okay.

I’m logging off for the night; hopefully more blogging tomorrow.

 

Voice of Truth

I’ve been in bed for three weeks now. 15 more to go. I am trying my hardest to not be negative especially on here – since in a few months and years I’m sure I’ll look back and read through this again, and I want to make sure that I have happy memories.


That being said it has not been easy. There seems to be a few moments a day where the ‘what if’s get the best of me. It’s hard to not think of those things when I have all day to think , when every time he kicks me or punches me, I wonder if he’s okay, if he’s going to be okay. There are moments when I’m amazed at how much I can care and love this little person and I’ve never met him.


Well earlier this week I was listening to this week’s sermon online. I love sermons around Christmas, Pastor always talked about the same 4 things, but not the same things, but he takes the same 4 words and has a new take on them. This week’s word was Expectation, about the joyful expectations of this season. After listening to this, I came to the realization that I had let go over my expectations. That I have stopped looking forward to the future, stopped dreaming about holding my son, about the day he’s born, about the future, his future. I haven’t been looking at the birth of my son with joyful expectation, I’ve been just getting through each day.
So after coming to this realization, I made the conscious decision that I would take back my expectation, I am taking back my anticipation and the hopes and dreams I have. I’m going to start dreaming of the day I hold my son in my arms, the day that I introduce him to my parents and family. And most of all I’m going to listen to the Voice of Truth.


The voice that tells me my son will be healthy and born just on time. That he has a great future ahead of him, that he will be a great husband and father. It reminds me of a song that now brings tears to my eyes, and says everything I have needed and wanted to say for weeks.

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

So from today on I am listening to the voice of truth, and not the voice of doubt, or fear. God created this amazing life within me for a purpose, and I know that God knows every hair on his head, and the number of days he will live. Today I take back my excitement over Gray joining our family, and I’m going to stop living in the unknown, and concentrate on what I know is true.


Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

106

There are 106 days until Grayson should be here.  And 6 more days until I get to see Harry Potter! B wanted to take me last week, but I just wasn’t up to it, and I thought it would be a great treat to start the countdown to 100 days left of bed rest.

Things around here have been pretty normal. B’s mom and stepdad came over yesterday and spend the morning finishing the decorating. It’s so nice to see my house all lit up and ready for Christmas. I’m a bit disappointed that I couldn’t do it myself, but I’m glad that someone was nice enough to offer to do it and bless us.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to thank B’s parent’s for everything they’re doing. They plan on coming every week and cleaning or doing laundry or whatever we need to be done. It’s so great to know that I have people in my life that are willing to take time out of their day to help us.

We got some exciting news this past week. My big sister’s husband has been offered a great opportunity with work and will be spending 2011 in the south. It’s a great step for him with work. The hard part is going to be keeping my sister distracted for the year. But I have a feeling that I know a little guy that will need some snuggles from Aunti J. If this has happened last year or the year before it wouldn’t have been a big deal. My sister used to work 60 to 80 hour weeks, but this past summer my sister changed jobs and is now working a usual 9 to 5 – with a lot more hours in the day to fill in with things other than work. But that means that I can have my big sis over for dinner once a week and she can snuggle Mr G for a few hours. I’m glad that she did make the change – she was going to burn out bad soon, and was taking on too much. But she is J – and this is what she has done her entire life. I’m just glad that she’s realized her limitations, and that it’s okay to have a life outside work.

Mr G seems to think that I should have some lunch, and possibly a nap, so I’ll be signing off. 106 days and I should be holding my little guy in my arms and not in my belly.
Blessings!

 

 

 

24 Weeks

24 weeks today! It seems like we were in Mexico just minutes ago talking about starting this journey, and now we’re weeks away from meeting out son. In 16 weeks I’ll be holding Grayson in my arms.

I’m starting to get into my groove on bed rest. B had a great idea last week, and picked up a table from my parent’s house so I can scrapbook and sew up in our bedroom rather than having to battle 3 flights of stairs to the basement. We moved some of my things up to our bedroom so I can work on getting some Christmas orders done for clients.

B’s mom and step dad were over yesterday and started decorating our house for Christmas. As much as I would love to be doing this, I do not have the energy or ability to do it this year. It’s a huge blessing to have someone take the time and energy to do this for us. They also cleaned the house so B and I don’t have to worry about it at all.

We spent Monday in Hamilton at the hospital where our specialist works, and if babE G is to come early, where we would spend the first few weeks of his life. We got poked and prodded and checked out. We got some great news! The bed rest is doing its job and I’m doing a lot better and my numbers are much better. We’re not out of the woods, but they’re not worried about Grayson coming in the next few weeks. They’re very hopefully that he’ll arrive in 16 weeks, right on schedule. They have given me the freedom to do a bit more than I have been doing. So I spend most mornings scrapping, and afternoons back in bed napping or vegging or doing something from bed.

B is falling into his new role perfectly. He’s perfect company when I need to talk or have those emotional moments. He’s also just there when I need someone there to just be there. He’s been great at running and getting me things rather than me having to go and get it. He’s okay with the fact that I can’t do everything right now, and he’s being so supportive. These moments make my heart sing, and confirm that I married the right man, the man that was meant for me.

B loves feeling Gray kick! And punch and hiccup. We read stories to him every night, and talk to him constantly. He’s so excited to be a dad, and hold our son. I can’t wait for him to hold him and meet him, and teach him. If my son is half the man my husband is he’ll be a blessing to the woman he marries, and an amazing father to his children.

16 weeks left, 112 days, and I’ll be holding my son. I may have started my time as a full time mom sooner than we had planned, but I’m making a conscious effort to love every moment no matter how mundane. I will spend the next 16 weeks taking it easy so my son has an easier start at life. That’s a sacrifice I will make gladly for him.
16 weeks.


 

babE Grayson: McMaster visit

After a long day at McMaster, we got GREAT news. We’ve been doing the right things, and although we’re not out of the woods, they aren’t concerned about Grayson coming early! PTL

My numbers have come back up into an okay range. I am still off work until Gray arrives, but I do have a bit more freedom. I have been staying in bed most of the time, but they did give me the freedom to get out of bed for a few hours at a time a few times a day. I still can’t go and do a full grocery shop by myself, but if we just need to run to the store for 5 or 10 things I able to do that. I’m allowed to be up and about to cook meals, and do a bit of tidying or scrapbooking. I am not allowed to clean yet, too much bending or movement, but I’m happy to be able to cook a meal once in a while! This means a bit more time at family things over the next month than we were planning, which is a huge blessing.

 They are advising that we have the steroid injections to help Grayson’s lungs, brain and bowels if he does come early, but they did not see him coming in the next 4 weeks, so advised us to wait until 28 weeks. At that point it will have the greatest effect on him, but still with no implications if he does go full term.

 We did have another full in depth ultrasound, and got to see Grayson again, some images in 3D. They did tell us that he’s measuring at about 25 ½ week rather than 23 but considering the difference in Brian and I’s size that not unexpected to us. I doubted that we would be having a little 5lb babE.

Thank you for all your prayers and support! We’ve gotten over the hardest part I hope, and now that we’re in a better place I hope that it’s relatively smooth from here on out.
 In less than 17 weeks we’ll all be meeting Mr Grayson, and forgetting how long this last bit has seemed.
 Thank you and we’ll keep you updated.
 Jac and Brian and babE Gray

babE Grayson: 23 Weeks

Today we’ve made it to 23 weeks, one more week and the doctors will be a bit happier. We’ve been on bed rest for just over a week now, hopefully we have 17 more week here.

 Monday we go see Dr Brennan in Hamilton. She’s the specialist that our Ob/Gyn has referred us to for Grayson’s care. We’re expecting a battery of test on Monday morning, along with another in depth ultrasound. She’ll walk us through what the next 17 weeks will hopefully look like, as well as our plan going forward. For right now everything is up in the air until we see Dr Brennan, and we know where we’re headed. We’ll find out the plan as far as steroids to help develop Gray’s lungs if he were to come early, and if we’ll be going to Hamilton or just to Guelph for that.

 We are standing firm on the belief that Grayson will have a March birthday, and not come a day too early. We’re putting our trust and hope in God. He’s the author of life, and he had Grayson’s destiny planned befoe he was conceived. The next 17 weeks may not be that enjoyable for me, but I will get through it with grace and patience if that’s what is best for Gray.

 I’m going to try and send out weekly updates to keep you all in the loop as to what’s going on and what the Dr’s are saying.

 Thank you for all your prayers and support. They mean so much to us.

 Blessings, and we love you all!

 Jac, Brian and babE Grayson

 

The New Normal

Today begins week two of bed rest. We’ve fallen into a new normal it seems. At night B does his work in bed with me rather than working at the kitchen table. My in-laws come by once a week to clean the house and help with the ever growing to do list we have on the go. My mom makes us meals for the freezer; my dad stops by after his weekly treatment for coffee. My friends pop by once in a while for short visits, or to borrow some scrapping supplies. Lots of emails and a few phone calls. And lots of love.

I think the biggest change is just the amount of time I spend thinking about Grayson. What he’ll be like when he’s older, what kind of baby he’ll be, will he wait until March? The last part scares me the most, and is the thing I think about the most. But when these thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself that although God blessed us with such an amazing gift, Grayson’s life is still in God’s hands. God numbered Gray’s days before he was conceived, and I have to put my trust in God that Gray is going to get here just in perfect time.

I have to remind myself that as hard as the next 17 weeks is going to be, I’m building our family. I’m not just lazing around the house doing nothing, I have a huge job right now, yes it is partly to sit on my butt and do nothing, but that’s important.

Update

I’ve been a bad blogger lately. It’s been a crazy few weeks. I had my first show for my new business, a weekend away (which was much needed) and my annual girl’s weekend with my mom and sister baking Christmas cookies.

The other big news here for babE and me, is that we’re on bed rest until babE Grayson is ready to arrive, hopefully still in March. Grayson is doing just fine, he’s a healthy babE boy, the issue is with me. So I get to hang out in my bed for 22 to 23 hours a day now.

 Today is Day 2. Started out like a normal day – went downstairs and had breakfast with B. Got some eggs boiled for a snack later on. Just because I’m on bed rest doesn’t mean that I can eat sugar and junk all day – I still have to get my body back after Mr G arrives.

So now I’m in bed, watching some tv, and blogging. I have a feeling that there might be daily posts between the two blogs. And hopefully after a few weeks I’ll be allowed to sit up and scrap a bit and then I can start updating my scrapping blog.

The journey through the next 18 weeks starts now. I can’t say that I’m not a bit scared about what might happen if Gray decides to arrive before planned, but I remind myself where I need to put my trust, and it brings a calm over me. I will do everything I can to keep Gray healthy and if that means 18 weeks flat on my back to do it, that’s what I’ll do.

So I start my job as a Mom a bit sooner than I thought.

Today is Day 2 of bed rest. Gray has been growing for 22 weeks, only 18 weeks left. 126 days left until Grayson is set to arrive.

 

The Beginning of Bedrest

Afternoon!

 Yesterday the Doctor sent me off for another ultrasound and the results came back.

 Grayson is doing well and growing lots, and is all round healthy. I however and having some issues. So starting this afternoon I am on bedrest for the foreseeable time. I don’t have to spend all day in bed, I can sit at my scrap desk for a few hours a day if I’m up to it, but I can’t be as active and on my feet as I usually am. No grocery shopping, or Christmas shopping at the malls, no housework. Just a lot of reading and sitting or lounging activities.

 We will be going to Hamilton in a few weeks for an apt with them. Because of what’s going on there is a chance of preterm labour, and because of that after I’m 24 weeks, they’ll start me on steroids to help Gray’s lungs develop should I go into preterm labour. We are not planning on this, and Dr Newell is confident that we’ll see the 35 week mark, but we do want to take all the precautions that we can.

 So if you have anything that needs to be done, that I can do while sitting. Please let me know. I have a feeling I’ll be doing a lot of blogging and web design over the next bit.


 We all love you lots, and we’re thankful for you in our lives.
 Jac and Brian – and babE Grayson too.

19 Weeks

 

Today little Grayson has been growing for 19 weeks. It’s amazing to think that we’re nearing the half waypoint.
I’m finally starting to feel big, and I know it’s only going to get worse. I had to get one of those super sexy maternity belts to help my hips and lower back through this. I have to say it has worked really well this week.
 Grayson seems to get the hiccups a lot these days, and as weird as it feels, I can’t say I mind it. I know it’s helping him develop a strong diaphragm and good breathing skills.

 This week babE G is the size of an heirloom tomato from his head to his bum. He’s growing and squirming a lot. Depending on the day B can feel him kicking if he has his hand on my stomach at the opportune moment.
 Teaching is getting harder and harder, I can’t do as much as I would like, and my body seems to be seeing the downfall of that. I know that my body changing is part of this, but I do wish I could at least keep my perky bum! Oh well, I’ll work hard over the next few months to keep it perky, I’ll just have to put more effort into it. I hope that I’ll be able to keep teaching until I’m almost due, but we’ll have to see what the doctor and physiotherapist says. I don’t want to do anything that could put Mr Grayson in jeopardy.

Can’t wait to be half done. 19 weeks done, 21 more to go.

It’s a …

babE Boy!

B and I are so excited that we’ll be meeting our son in just over 20 weeks. It seems weird that we know, but also amazing that we’ll be able to start calling him by name and buying little things for him.
We’ve decided on a name. Our son will be Grayson David Richard. Strong and Distinguished as my friend R says. B and I both had different criteria for names. I wanted something that was unique but not too off the wall, and B wanted something that would work well in the business world. So after months of discussion and searching we finally agreed on a name. The middle names are family names that we think are important to pass on to our Son. Names of people that have done some pretty amazing things, and have created a heritage that he’ll learn more about as he goes through life.

Our day went something like this today: We woke up, realized that we were already running late to make it to our Dr’s appt. So rush rush rush to get there as close to time as we could. Saw the Doctor. Have I told you how much I love her! I feel so blessed to have the connections that got us into her office. She’s very good, and doesn’t talk down to us at all. She clearly communicates everything to us. She wants to know the smallest things, just so she can track them and know if it might become an issue, before it becomes and issue. Anyways. After our appt with her, we still had 40 minutes to wait before our ultrasound. I had purposely scheduled our ultrasound that same day, within the same building, so then B wouldn’t have to take extra time off work to be there. I know my husband and he does not want to miss a thing if he can help it, so I try to make it work so that he can always be there. So during our wait we went to the coffee shop in the main floor, just chatted, talked about what we thought it might be. It was a nice break in what turned out to be a long morning. And then we headed up to the ultrasound.

The girl that did our ultrasound was very nice. She’s still a student and just finishing up her practical hours. It did take a bit longer than we had planned, or we had thought, but it was nice to see when we were all done. B came into the room, and sat down at my feet and held my hand as the ultrasound tech gave us a ‘tour’ of the babE. And then the big announcement. There was no doubting it; it’s a boy. A very active boy. The grin on B’s face went from 100 watts to a million in about 3 seconds, and I have to admit I did have some tears in my eyes. I would have cried either way, but knowing that we’re passing on B’s family name for future generations is very special. We walked to the car all excited and thoughts spinning in our heads of our son. I called my mom and dad right away, I knew they wouldn’t be home to get the email when we sent it since they were off to my dad’s Uncle’s funeral. We also called B’s dad, he works just blocks from our Doctor’s office, and since it was so close to lunch we thought we might be able to grab a bite to eat with him and we were in luck. We were able to tell B’s dad in person that we’re carrying on his family name, and that he’s going to have a grandson.

Emails were sent and sisters are very excited. B’s sister has been bugging me for weeks about telling her as soon as we knew. So she’s very happy to know that she’s going to have a nephew in a few months. My sister is excited; she’s already busy planning baby showers for babE G.

18 weeks and 4 days done, 21 weeks and 3 days to go. I can’t wait to meet my son, and I’m so thankful for the technology that lets us know ahead of time that we’re going to be meeting our little Grayson soon.

One more sleep – well two if I have a nap

18 weeks! only another 22 to go!

We find out tomorrow if we’re having a babE G or a babE A.

No A doesn’t stand for animal, it’s the first initial of the name we have picked out if we have a daughter, G for our son’s name if it’s a boy.

The count down started 32 days ago, 32 more sleeps, 26 more sleeps, and now one more sleep.

Everyone seems to have their predictions about what we’re going to be having. The girls at work can’t decide, they’re split on boy or girl. B’s step-mom thinks it’s a girl, because at our last doctor’s appointment the heartbeat was fast. I can’t say I have an opinion, I’ve never been here before, I can’t say from previous experience.

B and I are just excited to know. We can start shopping, okay I can start shopping. We can plan and get some of the little things done. We can paint something blue or pink to go with the green room. It’s also going to be great to just start calling him or her by name and praying for his or hers life and future.

So one more sleep and we’ll find out. BabE G or babE A. I can’t wait to know and start calling you by name my little babE.

Rainy School Mornings

This morning was an exceptionally rainy morning here on our street. So I spent sometime curled up on the couch with my cup of tea – decaf of course – and I came to the realization that I’m looking forward to mornings like this in about 5 years. Dressing the kids up in their raincoats and boots, and umbrellas and walking to school in the rain. And then having a cup of hot chocolate or hot apple cider ready for when we get home from school because days like this seem to have a way to chill you to the bone, at least for a bit.

We’re very blessed to live right by the public school in our area – its right in our backyard, so while I was sitting on the couch, I could see all the kids walking to school through the front window, and the kids on the playground out the back patio doors. So on my mornings off, or late starts, I get to watch the kids walk to school, or get dropped off (pet peeve).

The proximity in which we live to the school our kids will go to reminds me of how close my school was to where I grew up. I remember days when I could hear the bell and run down the block and still be lined up before the teachers called us in. Or begging my mom to let me go to school early so I could play on the snow hill with my friends before school started.

I’m looking forward to the school days that we have ahead of us. I don’t want the first few years to fly by too fast, but I’m looking forward to my kids enjoying school and friendships they make there. And rainy fall days, with hot apple cider waiting on the stove for when we get home.

13 and a half weeks

I finally have a bit more energy these days. I was awake until 10:00pm last night and woke up on my own at 6:45am. I have not woken up before the alarm in months. Well 3 months to be exact. Yes my energy is still lower then it was before babE was on board, but I am getting some of it back.

I finally got my business up and running, well maybe not quite running but I’m working towards getting my inventory up and getting more exposure. And now that I don’t have to have a nap every day after work, I’m hoping that things will fall into place a lot better.

We met with our OB on Friday, and I am so thankful for her. She’s young, but that’s not a negative at all for her. She’s very knowledgeable and open to our questions, and unlike other doctors that we’ve seen in the past, she didn’t completely ignore B. I’m so excited to be working with her. We set up or next appointment with her with no issue, and we have our next ultrasound booked for the same day.

We get to find out if babE is a boy or a girl next ultrasound. If we’re having a babE G or a babE A. and then we’ll get the make the big announcement of what our little one will be named.

I have to say that as much as some people love the surprise, I am not sure I could wait that long. I’m also really looking forward to knowing and being able to pray for the babE specifically. To know if I’m praying for it to be the husband or wife that it’s future spouse needs it to be. The future mother or father that they’ll be, and even just to have a name to pray for rather then it all the time.

Only 185 days or so left; and only 33 until we find out what babE is going to be.

Two Wonderful Years

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of the day I married my best friend. I can’t believe that it was two years ago already. Time seems to have gone so fast. I remember sitting in the big tent in the backyard drinking my first up of tea out of my special mug, staring at the place I would stand in a few hours and commit my life to being his wife and best friend.

Two years seems to have flow by in a flash. Last year we spent our anniversary celebrating the life of our sister in law’s father. We went away to Old Quebec City for a long weekend and explored part of our Canadian history that neither of us had seen. We spend the car ride listening to a series of marriage CD’s just gathering tips and tricks, and coming to the realization that as hard as we have committed to keeping our relationship strong, we’re guilty of some things that can cause us to bicker. We had a great visit with our sister’s in Ottawa. A few pints and some great laughs and the realization that we’re not all that different despite the difference in age.

This year we’ll be celebrating a little differently. We went on an early anniversary trip back in June and spend an amazing week in Mexico reconnecting and starting new adventures together. But tomorrow night we’ll head to the restaurant that hosted us the night we got married, and sit down for a dinner just the two of us. We’ll sip on some champagne, and look head to the next year we have together. A year that will be full of changes.

This year we will welcome our first child into our family. We’ll have many sleepless nights, many moments of wondering what we’re doing, and many moments of pure joy. This next year is something we’ve been looking forward to since before we got married. We’ve always wanted a family, and this year we’ll be starting ours.

Tomorrow we’ll say goodbye to the years of just the two of us, and look forward to the years of the 3 and 4 and maybe even 5 of us.

I am so blessed to have B as my husband. I could have never asked for such an amazing husband and provider. I have the honour of calling my best friend my husband, and spending my days and nights with him.

We started our life together two years ago, but a true loves story has no ending. We will be together for eternity. I made my home in his heart and that’s where I’ll live out the rest of my days.

 

First Trimester Done

Yesterday marked the first day of our second trimester, and I couldn’t be more thankful. The last 3 months have been wonderful and amazing, but also had their trials. Of the last 12 weeks, B has spent 10 away from home for business. And not just a few hours away, but a few hours flight away. Not having him around isn’t my favourite thing, and was really hard when I admit that I’ve been on a hormone driven rollercoaster ride. I also seem to have picked up a bad sinus infection somewhere, and due to the little one, I can’t be put on the same medication that I normally would be. So after a night in the ER this week, and an extra trip to the doctors we finally have a solution that will hopefully work and that I can live with.

B and I were laying in bed last night with the realization that in 6 months we could be holding out little one. That in 6 months our lives are going to change forever. For the last two years it’s just been us. We can do what we want, without always taking into consideration others. We have our J and B weekends where it’s just the two of us and no blackberries and no internet, just us reconnecting. Well now it will be the three of us. Not saying that we wont have J and B weekends, I’m sure one of the three grandma’s will want to snuggle the babE for a weekend, but not just oh a whim can we do whatever we want. No more sleeping in late on weekends, there’s a little one that will need to be fed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with the fact that we’re going to be parents soon. I’m anxiously waiting for the day I wake up with a little one in the room just down the hall. I love the fact that B’s getting really excited. He’s excited to read “Are you ticklish?” to our little one. I can’t wait to kiss my little one goodnight.

There are 6 months left until we meet our little one. 28 weeks, 196 days. But I can have patience until babE’s ready to be here. God know’s when it’s time and we’ll wait for him to let us know.

I'm thankful for all of you!

 

Blessed

There are times in our lives that we are so blessed and most of the time it’s not with physical things, it’s with love or grace or provision.

Well this weekend was a time when we were so blessed with love that accompanied physical things.

B has always had a great relationship with his former boss. P is a great guy who has been a great example to B not just in business but in life. He’s a great father and husband and I look up to him so much, as does B. Well when our news broke B emailed P to let him know, but also just inquire if they had any baby things they were wanting to sell since their kids are a bit older now. Well P’s response to this was ‘for the cost of you bringing your truck and moving it you can have it.’ Amazing offer!! But we didn’t fully understand what it meant until we popped over on Sunday night. We thought maybe a few items, but after the hugs and congrats and catching up with their little cuties, we headed out to their garage, and things just kept coming out of there and into our truck. A high chair, a carseat with 2 bases, a swing and bouncy chair, an infant bed, nursing pillows, play mats, exersaucer, and a huge garbage bag full of cloth diapers. For B and I this is one of the biggest blessings we have ever received. And I know that P and L appreciate that they were able to bless us but also have a bit more space to bless their kids with new toys and things.

Well B and I got home and unpacked the car. Well B unpacked the car while I had a mini rest. And after surveying everything that we had received we realized that we need to have to really really have to get the babE’s room done asap so we have a place to put all of the things that we have acquired. But that’s another day’s story.

Fat

I feel fat, I know I know, you’re saying, ‘J you’re not fat, your pregnant’ but really I just feel fat.  This week I have not be able to do up a single pair of work pants. Not a one. I have been living in my new favourite pair of maternity jeans when I’m not at work. Too bad I can’t wear them to work. Right now I’m not big enough to be able to fit into any of the work pants I have, but I’m too big to wear any of the work clothes that I love. I have a feeling I’ll end up just buying work pants a few sizes too big and just trying to get through the next month or two. Hopefully they last more than a month, I’m not sure it’s in the budget to spend too much on anything that only lasts for a few months. I guess that’s the game we play with maternity clothes.

Other than fat, I’m feeling completely exhausted all the time. Its 12 noon and I want to have a nap, but of course I don’t have time to nap. I go to bed at 9pm and I’m up at 7 – at least an hour more sleep then I usually get and I’m waking up feeling like I could nap for an hour or two more. Too bad coffee is a big no no during this time in life, I could use a cup right now.

Now I’m done complaining, that’s not what the focus on this time in life should be about. So now I’m going to start focusing on the great things. Like in 32 weeks I get to meet my little babE. B and I get to be parents and start this next chapter in our lives and I can’t wait for that time.

 

 

 

Wednesday Wednesday

Wednesday is one of my favourite days of the week. And for one specific reason, Wednesday is date night with B. Lately B’s been gone away a lot on business, leaving me home alone on date night. But this week he’s home, and I couldn’t be happier.

Now it is a boring date night; we just finished putting dinner in the oven, and then we’re going to eat, work on menu for next week for the time that he’s home, and then we’re off to run errands. But it is Wednesday and we are having a date.

When B’s away it possibly one of the hardest things for me; it’s hard to plan meals for one, or thinking of what to do for an evening. But the worst thing is when he’s gone for weeks at a time, and I get into my own routine and then when he comes home, we’re completely out of sync. I hate the feeling I have when I wish I could just go and do my thing rather than spending time with him. Thank goodness this time B’s home off and on in between weeks away, and we have a mini break and we’re able to reconnect between.

Even tonight is not an exciting date night, it’s still a date night, and time for us to just be us. To just hang out, whether its in the kitchen, or just chatting in the car on our way to errands, or just snuggling on the couch watching mindless tv shows. I happy for tonight, and I’m happy that with B gone for the next 3 date nights, I get tonight. I get tonight my best friend.

 

 

 

Finally

Finally after a long time, at least it feels like a long time I’m back doing some of the things I love. Last night I took my second ballet class of the summer, and I can’t explain how much I have missed it. I spend most of the fall last year in ballet class and teaching pilates. I gave up ballet just because of scheduling and then after my accident I had to give up teaching pilates.

Last night was amazing. True I couldn’t do the jumps that I love, or a lot of turns. Better safe than sorry and I would prefer not to have to take pain killers after what’s supposed to be an hour of fun. It was great to get back to the barre and do the basics. My technique may not be as good as it was when I was dancing 40 hours a week, but I hazard to say that I enjoy it a bit more. I love not having to have perfect technique and the fact that I’m able to just dance for an hour, but still work on getting back to my technique.

The other thing that starts soon is that I can finally get back to teaching pilates. I am so excited to get back in the gym and to the girls (and few guys) that come to my class every week. I may not be able to do the class the way I used to right away. I probably won’t be able to do pilates work for an hour straight, but I am allowed to go back and teach. I miss that so much! I miss hearing about how sore people were the day or two after the last class, or hearing that they are able to finally get through a sequence with a little more ease, or that they’re finally able to do one of the harder moves with ease after weeks of practise. I can’t wait to get back in the gym.

Well off to a meeting I go.

 

 

Morning Sickness

This past weekend we had the great opportunity to celebrate with our friends C and J as they started their lives together as man and wife. I had worked with C for almost a year to perfect wedding invitations and programs and we were so happy with the end result.

Well C and J’s wedding was about an hour and a half drive from where we are in beautiful wine country. An hour and a half drive that ended up taking about 2 and ¾ hours, most in stop and go traffic. This wouldn’t have been such a bad thing except that I wasn’t feeling well at all.

The books all say that morning sickness gets worse around 6 weeks and then usually subsides around 12 to 14 weeks, so of course right on track, the day we go to the Dr’s for the first time, I’m feeling worse than normal. And that just continued the next day on the road to the wedding.

I have been nauseous before, trust me, Demerol after jaw surgery without the gravol does not make J very happy at all. This was not that bad but it wasn’t peaches. I think it took about 40 minutes to finally get calmed down with lots of wheat thins and deep breaths. The stop and go traffic did not help out at all. I really hope that this doesn’t happen every day and every car ride for the next 6 weeks. I’m not sure I can stop on the way to work every morning or home from work.

Morning sickness sucks, but I wouldn’t trade it for all the world. I know that this little babE growing inside me is healthy and happy, and that’s what really matters. I can suck up the next 6 weeks or 34 weeks if that’s what I have in store.

 

babE's New Home

B and I had planned on redoing the spare room in our home and turning it into the future children’s room. So the process actually started back in May when we move everything around so we could redo both of the rooms upstairs.

We had our office with all my scrap stuff, and B’s computer and all our files and records in the one room, and then the spare bed, and all our wedding gifts that don’t have homes yet in the other room. So in order to get the house ready for little ones, we had to move everything around. We moved my scrap desk and all my scraping stuff to the basement as well as B’s computer and our office files. So we could paint the ‘office’ so we would have a new guest room. So that room got painted, and we – well B – moved everything from the spare room into the new guest room. And we went to work on the new babE’s room. We had made the decision on what we wanted to do months before hand. Well I decided what we were going to do and B like it so we went with it. But it took a lot of research and time figuring things out. So during our week of vacation at the end of July we decided to get to work and get as far as we could on the room.

This meant ripping out the carpet so we could put the wainscoting in, and prep for the new floor. I can’t stand carpet in kid’s rooms, just a disaster waiting to happen, so laminate seemed like the prefect replacement. And then getting the green on the walls above the wainscoting. And I did none of this. B’s a bit over protective, and I’m not allowed around the chemicals and smells of paint or any of the hard work. Of course this is the week that we told all 3 sets of parents, so when we started on Monday my dad had no idea the news he was going to get that evening. But we started Monday morning anyways with putting the wainscoting in, and after 2 mornings working hard, there are 3 pieces left to do and the topper, and then the floor. Well and the painting of the wainscoting, but I think that if B works really hard for a weekend or two it will be all done. Well after Dad get’s the last 3 pieces and topper done. Thank goodness for parent’s who have amazing crafts and trades.